“We can really be conditioned to feel ashamed, to be hard on ourselves. We can develop into perfectionists because of it.“
Try journaling with self-compassion. The intention of it is to separate discouraging things that you say to yourself from what you actually believe.
When we are telling ourselves that we aren’t enough,
when we’re being hard on ourselves about our mistakes,
when we insult ourselves,
or engage in any other regressive self-talk,
We’re parroting attitudes that come from other people. Even if these attitudes weren’t directly planted by others’ words, the society around us can easily funnel us down into self-sabotaging beliefs through social conditioning. We can be conditioned to feel ashamed and to be hard on ourselves.
We take on others’ definitions of success, excellence, and worthiness. We also take on others’ definitions of failure and disgrace.
“Journaling is taking the time to have an intentional dialogue that you otherwise may not have had.“
Writing from a perspective of self-compassion it’s going to push a productive, compassionate attitude to the forefront. It’s going to emphasize what you actually believe about yourself. It’s going to hand a megaphone to the things that you want to say to yourself — the things that you wish your internal dialogue was made of. It’s going to give you some intentional time to sit with those beliefs and witness yourself affirming your uplifting truths.
You’ve listened to regressive, dispiriting, internal dialog all day. Journaling with self-compassion gives you an opportunity to do the opposite. It’s an opportunity to practice being uplifting. Journaling is taking the time to have an intentional dialogue that you otherwise may not have had.
How to journal with self compassion:
To get into “self-compassion mode” think :
- “Well, what would my best friend say?”
- or “Hmm. What is it that I actually believe?”
- “What would I tell my best friend if they were dealing with the same thing?”
- “I don’t believe that discouraging voice. What do I actually believe?
- “I’m writing my self talk and it sounds like this…”
Write what you believe. Write down what the angel on your right shoulder is saying. That’s the voice of your authenticity.
This is not something you have to apply a routine to. It’s something that you can do when you feel you need it.
There may be days when you do it just so you can receive some momentum. Amplify your authenticity’s voice so you can follow it easier. Amplify it so it can stand out. Doing this will help you to lean into its guidance.
Personally, journaling with self-compassion has played a role in the relationship I have with the feeling of anxiety, fear, and generally any other form of emotional discomfort. Journaling with self-compassion demonstrates to me that discomfort comes with opportunity.
Uncomfortable feelings are opportunities to communicate with fears and learn more about them. They are opportunities to listen and reconnect with my authenticity’s voice — even while the emotion is there. They are opportunities for me to hone the skill of redirecting that emotional energy into something productive or motivating. They are opportunities for self-understanding. It’s an opportunity to really listen and see what it is I need.
That phenomenon is a part of what makes journaling so impactful. You will have principles demonstrated to you. You will discover the relationships you have with your feelings. Uncomfortable emotions and the feelings that arise from them are opportunities to address problems from the root. Now, as I write this I’m hesitant to continue calling “problems” problems. Instead, I’d like to acknowledge them as opportunities.
Every feeling is an opportunity and with an attitude of self-compassion, you expand your capacity to take those opportunities.
Happy Journaling ❤