Staring your entry with YOU ARE and writing to yourself in that fashion allows you to affirm what you believe about yourself. It gives you a place to hammer it in and it’s very motivating to read.
It’s all about your self-talk…
See, there’s definitely a difference between how you speak to yourself, (your self-talk) and what you actually believe.
I know you know what I mean…
Are you hard on yourself? Do you show more grace and compassion towards your friends than you do yourself? See, if you know that you’re hard on yourself while also extending the right kind of attitude to others, then you know there’s a difference between your self-talk and your personal code.
If only you could give treat yourself like one of your friends… This is the part where journaling comes in.
You can write a YOU ARE style entry to yourself. Though, it doesn’t need to literally start with “you are”, the point is that you write in the second person perspective.
What’s the point of doing that?
Well, If your inner-asshole is very loud, your inner-friend is going to need some help being heard.
Do this type of writing when you’re being hard on yourself. Once you write the YOU ARE entry to yourself, you’ll feel grounded and emboldened to do what your negative self-talk won’t let you do…
How is it different from “I am”?
Ahem…: Our minds are more complex than I can explain in this post. This is a very generalized and simplified answer. I encourage you to go on a psychology research spree after you’ve read this (and keep in mind that have different brains that store different data).
The difference is writing to yourself rather than about yourself.
Your brain is always scanning through its databases:
When you write I AM entries, your brain will check its “I am database” for accuracy. You will feel resistance and like a liar because you’re affirming something that isn’t currently in that database (You’re affirming what you don’t actually believe). That resistance makes sense given that you currently have negative feelings about yourself.
When you write YOU AREs , your brain checks a different database. It’s checking with an ideal mindset, one that you place value in, one that you believe in. It’s not going to resist what you believe toward yourself. Most of us believe in giving ourselves kindness, love, grace, and encouragement, and compassion. What’s there to resist?
How exactly do I do it?
There’s no wrong way, really. But, I’ll give you what I recommend.
- I really don’t recommend making a list of YOU ARE statements, but instead write it in a letter format. This way it doesn’t feel like an assignment and it feels like it’s coming from the heart.
- You don’t need to start your letter with “You are” either. You’re free to start with your name or just jump straight into what you have to say to yourself.
- Consider it a written pep talk. What would someone that loves you and believes in you say to you? What do you know you need to hear?
- Consider where you want to store the letter. You can keep it in your journal or you can tear it out. One thing I like to do with my letters is tear them out and put them on my altar or I seal it in a mini envelope and then tape them in my journal.
- When you’re done with it, put a header at the top. That way you know what the letter is pertaining to. You’ll be able to go back and read them when you feel like you need a boost.
- Be real. Dont’ write what you think you should say to yourself, write what you actually want to say. Write from the heart.